im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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