Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
kristin has been a bad kristin
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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