I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i will never coherently bang her
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
