so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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