For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
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You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
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Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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