Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
