Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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