sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
