i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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