I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
