Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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