Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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