Just cropdusted the office
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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