dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
