i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
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I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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