He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
