Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
