Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
