The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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