I like to think it a success when the cops are called
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I will be naked everywhere
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
