i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
no you cant smoke seaweed
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
