We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Come see our sink grown plant.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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