i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
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Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
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Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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