Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
