I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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