Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
