im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
