I cockslap morals
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
