Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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