Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
