A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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