I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
