apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
