her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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