margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize