I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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