Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
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