Ambien. No doubt about it.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
