dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
