I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize