3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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