She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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