blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
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you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
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Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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