Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Randomize
