Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex. (773): Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"? http://tfl.nu/bxnr
  Replies (15) Good night (762) Bad night (2063)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex http://tfl.nu/n8r5
  Replies (20) Good night (4290) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god. http://tfl.nu/qi32
  Replies (5) Good night (6509) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up. http://tfl.nu/ev42
  Replies (22) Good night (5129) Bad night (1739)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while. http://tfl.nu/clpn
  Replies (15) Good night (4397) Bad night (1289)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span. http://tfl.nu/rd54
  Replies (36) Good night (6705) Bad night (1336)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it http://tfl.nu/jk9d
  Replies (18) Good night (9642) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out http://tfl.nu/ow35
  Replies (11) Good night (1297) Bad night (2401)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more http://tfl.nu/azy4
  Replies (9) Good night (3114) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs http://tfl.nu/vayg
  Replies (5) Good night (1119) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up 

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up  http://tfl.nu/ojbn
  Replies (3) Good night (767) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back http://tfl.nu/26q8
  Replies (5) Good night (1388) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (228): Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high. http://tfl.nu/9q6n
  Replies (3) Good night (954) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken. http://tfl.nu/cx45
  Replies (3) Good night (645) Bad night (215)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY. http://tfl.nu/gw0u
  Replies (3) Good night (517) Bad night (177)

Randomize