What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again