Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick

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(630): View more from Illinois

Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went

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(408): View more from California

4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.

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(206): View more from Washington

a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(218): View more from Minnesota

You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few

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(510): View more from California

yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow

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(646): View more from New York

ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry

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