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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm going to rape that little man

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  omg not your brother

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• (713): View more from Texas

  my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night

  Fav 33 4075 1338

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?

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• (559): View more from California

  I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (210): View more from Texas

  He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  Aspirations

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.

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