3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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