I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
