Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Randomize
