I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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