Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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