i just wanna soil my oats bro
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
