my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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