You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
