The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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