This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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