Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
