you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
