i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
