I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
