Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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