So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
