im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
