There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize